xina

Happy Birthday Sweetie!

*erik is probably going to kill me for saying this so many times today*

simple annoyance of the day: someone stating that i said something when i replied "i don't know." it really pisses me off, actually. it made me look bad in front of my boss and i ended up having to tell him what i actually said.

this weekend was nice. i got to spend mucho amounts of time with erik while we got my computer up and running on bsd. it actually wasn't that bad, i just felt stupid because i didn't know what i was typing. after installing a bunch of software, i was getting the hang of it. i actually like how the system is working. we still have to do some configurations on the machine, like the fluxbox menu listings. i have to watch him do those, since they require lots of typing that i can't do. but, i will learn. i have to take notes so i don't annoy him with all of my questions.

i also spent a lot of time reading crimelibrary. i am interested in abnormal behaviour and serial killers. i also read a lot on gothic lolita's in japan.

other than that, i wish that my nap with erik would've been longer today. i am a bit tired, but at least i don't have to get up super early tomorrow. only Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. it makes me not want to go to physical therapy anymore. but, i should know in a month and a half if i will get surgery or not.

bah, my lunch is over :(.

i don't want to go to work today, even though it's only for 3 meetings. still, my doctor said no work until Friday! i hurt, i really shouldn't be typing this. i am surprised that erik doesn't yell at me for typing like stefanie does ;). yesterday, i got another cortisone shot. i only get a maximum of 3, so there will only be one more left. let's hope they do their magic and don't require me to have surgery. after the cortisone shots i am supposed to be re-evaluated. if there is progress, then there will be no need for such surgical procedures. if i am the same or worse then i get another emg and probably surgery. at least that is about 2 months down the road and not next week, so i can get prepared and save money just in case. i will have to start buying movies, since that will be the only thing i could do in that time. i will also have to teach erik how to drive my car, since he will probably have to take me places. bah...so much to think about...i should get ready for that meeting. i think i am just going to go in looking like hell. bah.

this weekend has flown by...much too quickly. i haven't really done anything except waste lots of time online, two loads of dishes, talked to my brother and my mom, and watched movies. it's a lazy weekend :). i visited too many lj users that irritate me. i still wonder why i intentionally read their journals when they annoy me. strange.

i have to be up early tomorrow morning, which i really don't want to do :(. i scheduled my p.t. appointments early this week too, but there wasn't much available on Monday. ah well. Tuesday i get to see my doctor again and beg for another cortisone shot, since that seemed to relieve some of the pain, not all of it, but some. it's better than dealing with tons of pain everyday...except when you run out of them. i guess they will only give you so many, since it's a steroid. bah.

my mother is trying to convince me to go down to socal the week after labor day. i tried telling her that i really couldn't afford it, but she is trying to buy me a plane ticket to go. i really don't want to fly out there and have no transportation. that would mean i would be stuck in the house the entire time and there is only so much of that i can deal with. plus, i don't want to leave the kitties and erik alone. not that i don't trust them on their own, i just don't want to be away for that long :(. i really don't want to spend all of my vacation time right now, too. last year i ended up using a lot during the summer and not accruing enough when it came time for christmas. i probably won't get thanksgiving off this year. bah...at least i will get 2 days worth of vacation out of that, though. plus, it would give me more leverage to get christmas and new year's eve off. i don't understand why some of the other people ask for new year's eve off when they normally get off at 6 p.m. in the day. that gives them more than enough time to make it to reno, lake tahoe, and san francisco. the fuckers would rather make me work the day and have to say happy new year while i am driving home from work.

i really wish that we could've gone to the proyecto mirage and mono no aware show tonight, but we had deadbeat ebay bidders on some pretty high priced items. fuckers. at least i can re list my boots at a more reasonable price, since they ended up selling for a really low fucking amount.

i think the lack of swearing on the phone with my mom has hit me and i now want to say shit fuck motherfucker eighty times in a row. it's not that the talk was bad, it's just that i bite my tongue and try to not swear as much as i normally do.

anyway...time to wash more dishes. they will be the death of me...yes...i miss having a dishwasher, washer, and dryer...

have i mentioned how much i hate working 3-midnight? luckily, i only have to work this schedule today and then i can go back to 1-10. i have to do this every time the 3-midnight person goes on vacation, though. i really hope he doesn't have more vacation time coming up. my day should almost be over instead of halfway there. damn. there is less to do on my lunch break when i work this schedule. normally i call erik and use the time up that way. i stopped bringing books, since i would call. i am wishing that i had a book right now. i already caught up on reading my friend's list too.

when i get home, i have to clean out the kitty box. this has become my nightly duty to appease the little critters. they were being good before i went to work. they were being very friendly and loving. i love moments like that :). this is why i can't wait until they are older and a little fatter ;). i also get to balance my checkbook and mail off bills. i wish there were more exciting things on the headlines, but right now i just have to maintain those damn bills. i miss being irresponsible and i hate my debt.

i should run out and have another cigarette before i am back from lunch. it is seriously cold outside and i don't have my backup sweater in the car. i took it out sometime last week, so i will have to just deal with being cold. it's better than 100+ degrees, though.

so, yesterday was spent with me trying to dye my hair before hanging out with the crew. i can't say davis crew anymore, since ben has moved to the happy parts of sacramento. only my roots lightened, so i look like quite a dork. i still have to try bleaching again to at least get a little more of it lightened. i am just going to end up dying it with blue mayhem by sfx and hope to get more than the roots blue.

erik and i headed over to ben's around 8:15ish and somehow didn't get lost in his apartment complex. erik helped them move kat's couch over to ben's. we got to meet all of kat's wonderful animals. her bunny is really cute as well as all the kitties and suongsa. suongsa was too shy to dance to converter and such. we all headed back to ben's place to wait for cindy. while we were waiting we discovered the groovy vh1 classics channel. talk about nostalgia :). erik,

this week i have been uber sleepy girl. i am just so damn fucking tired all the time, even after a couple cups of coffee. i don't understand it...i just want to feel well rested for once. i have been getting 8-9 hours of sleep a night, then why i am i so fucking tired. i really don't want to go to a doctor for this, since they will just give me anti depressants, which make me even more tired. i need some ritalin!

i am bored with my hair, again. i would say that i am tempted to chop it all off, but i am trying to grow it out. it's in that middle mode...i hate that. i am also very tempted to dye it pink again...i miss colored hair :(. i just wish i could afford to get braids or synthetic dreads done right now. the shitty thing is that i could do them myself, but my hand wouldn't last through it. i practiced braiding twine for a work project and that killed me.

i have to get up really early tomorrow for p.t. i am not looking forward to that. i forgot to schedule my appointments this week, so i will be stuck with shitty appointments next week. i suck. at least i didn't get a parking ticket this week. that is always something to look forward to.

other than that, not too much going on. i have been pretty lazy lately, mostly because i am tired.

it's been awhile since a real update...

so, last weekend erik and i ventured down to santa monica to see mike and stefanie. we left sacramento after my p.t. appointment. the drive isn't so bad later at night than it was when we left. we got stuck in the friday traffic, but still made it in good time. it took six hours and 15 minutes, with one long stop in labec. it's sick that i know the names of the cities that i stop in on the drive down, since they are cities with populations of maybe 100 people.

it was wonderful to see stefanie and mike. i really wish that i could afford to live in santa monica, since it's around 75 degrees. that is a happy temperature. we rested for awhile and met the two pauls, who were both really cool. then we headed off to vegas around midnight. i don't remember much of the drive there, since i was sleepy. i do remember the alien jerky in baker, though. baker is a hell hole. i am still astonished that people actually live in the middle of the desert. i could, if i lived in an air conditioned bubble :).

we slept after we got into vegas. we stayed in the luxor, which reminded everyone of stargate. i don't remember what time we woke up the next day, but we headed off to breakfast and gorged on mass calories. we then headed for defcon, which was held at the alexis park. it's been a week, so i don't really remember everything we did. drank, got gawked at, drank, tried to was black mark from neck, smoked and repeat. i do remember the dj's sucking ass at the black and white ball and hacker jeopardy. i think erik should dj next year, even if he has to dj dark techno style beats, drum n' bass, industrial/ebm/synthpop/futurewave, or drill n' noize. he would probably be the only good dj there, since most of them couldn't mix, and they were fade/mix djs. after all the defcon madness :) we spent time in vegas. i survived on 3 nickels for approximately 2 hours on a video poker machine with an austin powers 2 theme. the amazing thing is that i don't really know how to play poker (well, i learned on the way back to santa monica in the car.) i knew the basics of pair, straight, and that sort of thing.

anyways...we got back to santa monica after a stop in littlerock, ca. what a shithole! we encountered a horrible toilet that can be compared to the one in "trainspotting." well, maybe not that bad, but it was horrible. i have encountered better porta potties than that. we got back to santa monica around 8 p.m. on monday. hung out with mike and stefanie for a bit, then ventured off on the 5 back home. this time we made better time...we were on the road for 5 hours and 45 minutes with 2 stops. i was happy to listen to art bell most of the way back :). i got to hear the entire show, something that i haven't done since listening to some of the streams way back. erik fell asleep about 3 hours out, so he failed his duty to keep me awake. it's ok, though, since i had red bull pumping through my veins.

the rest of the week: work, work, work, work...erik and i attempted to quit smoking on thursday and both failed. but, he was the first one down at 8 hours...i at least lasted 42 hours. so much for this attempt. if cigarettes go up $3 per pack we are just going to resort to rolling our own or driving up to reno to get some, or purchase them online from indian reservations. i think i may actually write to my congressman about this tax. they know that some people will pay for it, since smoking is like a heroin addiction.

today we went rafting with some of the people from work down the american river. i have been avoiding this trip 2 years in a row. i didn't really have an excuse this year, except that we are broke. my boss remedied that by offering to pay. so, we couldn't really turn it down. we woke up hella early and we were grumpy. we arrived at the meeting station a little late, but before some of the other people that were joining. we headed off to the site and sat for awhile. it was pretty fucking crowded there. i was amazed by the really girly girls that were waiting in line for the public restroom and there was no line for the portapotties. the portapotties were the cleanest ones that i have ever seen and they didn't smell. if most porta potties were like that, then i wouldn't normally have an aversion to them...

so, we had fun. we had three boats tied together with life jackets (how ghetto is that.) it took about 4-5 hours to float to the rental return. we were armed with water guns that were no comparison to the people using buckets or home made pvc pipe water cannons. i never thought that i would have fun on this type of outing. erik and i felt like complete suburbanites...but, i will say it was fun again. some of the highlights were the people wrestling in dirty water that was supposed to be like mud. some of the girls from our boat joined in on the little island. one girl showed our boat her butt and tits...beating a small boat of mother fuckers that kept trying to sneak attack us with water...one of my co workers smashed...i just don't feel comfortable enough drinking that much around water, even though i maintained a light buzz for part of the trip. the final vote...erik and i are going next year. erik did get a slight sunburn on his neck, arms, and legs. i told him to use sunblock, but he has an aversion to my purple sunblock. i was lucky and got a minimal burn, which no one can really tell but me. i also reapplied my sunblock 4 times down the river. i think he learned his lesson ;).

i think this is long enough now...

look, my boots are for sale...you can buy them here...as well as other stuff that erik has listed on ebay...enough shameless promoting ;)

other than that, i am at work and very sleepy. i will post more about the fun weekend with mike and stefanie in vegas...i just have to finish this damn pack of cigarettes tonight...i am going to end up killing my throat, but i have to finish them so i can start off fresh with the patch tomorrow. i don't want any tempting packs lying around...

i am sleepy and trying to revive myself with coffee and mint pastilles.

last night i received my birthday package from stefanie. it has lots of wonderful goodies :). she got me a really pretty box of nag champa (the box is different than the standard box), rice candy, pastilles, lady grey and black currant tea, a beautiful feng shui water sign candle, and a beautiful wooden box with whole leaf tea. w00t :) she has definitely made me a tea whore. so, if i ever visit feed me tea :).

i looked through all of the local news today trying to find out what happened by my work. when i was driving to work there were several police cars behind me, so i pulled over to the right and they passed me. then i noticed that there was a helicopter circling the area by my work. as i got closer, i saw about 10 cops rush to the area. i tried to drive the long way to work to see what was going on, but i didn't see anything. i think the bank might have gotten robbed, but who knows. curiosity killed the cat.

well, i got at least one thing achieved today. the bathroom is finally clean. i wish we had some tilex, but we are all out. i had to wash the bathtub and toilet out with bleach, since that is the only cleaning product that we have right now. i hate cleaning with bleach. bleach always makes me feel lightheaded. i don't use a lot of it, either. i should probably just make a diluted solution with water next time. we really need to get a tub drain stopper. i want to take a long lavender and jasmine scented bath to relax my arm muscles, but i can't.

i have to wake erik up soon. he has taken a four hour nap. i really want to walk to the video store and pick up something to watch. i just don't want to go out of the house, which would be the problem. i really don't look attractive today. this may be the reason why i am feeling fat and ugly today. plus, i hurt after yesterday and then deciding to scrub the bathtub.

i spent another part of the day trying to figure out the reason why nekosama keeps peeing on things. i put the bean bag away hoping that would solve the problem of him peeing. but, he found a laundry basket and peed on some of the clothes in there. i know the clothes don't smell like another cat. so, i researched behaviour problems in neutered males. so far it could be a number of things. he could be peeing because he doesn't like the new kitty litter we bought. we changed from normal litter to litter that has crystals in it and clumps. my other theory is that another cat could've lived in this apartment and sprayed or something like that. tomorrow, we are going to petsmart to pick up the anti enzyme spray. there is also another spray that i read about that keeps cats from going in certain areas that can help scratching and such. i need to get them a scratching post, since we don't have on here. they only scratch on the mattress and that is going to be covered with a bed ruffle soon. otherwise, he is a good kitty. mochi has decided to bite my feet when i am sleeping to wake me up now. she has been doing that for the past two days. i appreciate it on the weekdays, only because she wakes me up when my alarm is going off, but not this morning. i am still tired from being woken up, but i can't sleep since i drank 3 cups of coffee.

anyways, time to wake erik up...

i am avoiding actual work...

( that damn sex quiz )

i am bored! i am going to finish pi after this, since erik is geeking right now. i really shouldn't be on the computer right now...

this survey was maliciously borrowed from ben

( you really want to read this, don't you! )

hrmmm...update?

the franklin covey planner that i received from my birthday is actually being put to use. i found that i am getting more done at work than i was. i think it's because there is no time wasted thinking about the tasks that need to be done, since i write it in before work. plus, i can finally keep track of those pesky physical therapy appointments. no more hunting for doctor appointment cards :) this is a plus! also, i started planning goals for non work time. there are so many things that i would like to learn, but i have been unmotivated. hopefully, this will help me devise a plan to break the stagnant mold.

physical therapy has been tough the past couple of weeks. my hand therapist decided that he would start me with weights, which i don't think my hand is ready for. i feel a flare up coming and that is not good at all. i feel defeated since i wanted to take vicodin today and took one friday. i must mention that the weight is only .25 lbs, yes...that's right...i can't even handle that.

erik and i decided that we are going to quit smoking soon. we shall stop after def-con. we will be drinking, which means that we will want to smoke. drinking and lack of willpower caused me to relapse last year. it's been a little over a year since the first time i quit. i failed that attempt, but it lasted 5-6 months. erik had mentioned quitting cold turkey, but i don't think that is the way to go. i don't want us to be irritable at the same time...that would be bad. i am going to use the nicotine patch again.

the kittens have been evil lately. they have decided that they will only pee on erik's bean bag. we still need to get the kitty spray that keeps them from doing that. it's kind of cute when they do something bad though...well, only because they know that they have and they cuddle with us right after.

i must mention that erik made a wonderful experimental dish tonight :). he always cooks so damn well...yummy yumm...

i am back to my regularly scheduled programming.

the only thing i don't like about our apartment is that we have no washer and dryer. i hate going to the laundromat, especially the one we went to. all the ones by our apartment were crowded, but that's what we get for doing our laundry on a sunday. it had to be done, though. it's been officially three weeks since we did laundry, it was time. erik never understood why i have so many clothes, but this is the reason. i hate laundromats!!!!! this time around we won't wait as long, though. at the laundromat this older couple kept staring at us. i don't know if it's because we look so "normal" or what we were reading. i had to break out the book that ben got me for my birthday "you are being lied to" by disinfo.com. erik was reading "cyberia" by douglas rushkoff, so yeah...they could've been in the secret service and watching us, since we both have long files...yup, that is it.

after the three hour visit to the laundromat, we headed off to the surbanite dream, walmart. we had to stop there, since i needed to make another set of keys to the apartment. i will no longer have to call when i am coming home and risk being locked out or walking in the alleyway behind our apartment (looking uber suspicious) and knocking on the window. we also picked up some cigarettes and had a cashier that seriously didn't listen to me.

yesterday, we met up with ben and kat. we ate at dos coyotes and i swear i got the largest salad known to man. someone else had gotten the same salad at another table and finished everything but the tortilla it was on. i didn't even get halfway through mine even with help from erik. it was definitely bigger than i am. we then headed over to ben's apartment. xima and eric were waiting for us. we started watching "return of the living dead 3." it was a rather cheesy and horrible movie, but what more can you ask for on a saturday night on the sci fi channel. i got more birthday present goodness :) and carrot cake!!!! w00t :) i am a happy girl. then we watched a show on tourettes.

all in all a good weekend that hasn't ended yet! we rented some movies, but i am waiting on erik to finish up his firewall. bad things happened to him before we went to do laundry and now i am afraid that my computer will be the next target. but, i am paranoid like that.

ok, now this makes me happy :)
August 25th at the
PoundSF.
Imperative Reaction (Metropolis Records/US)
Proyecto Mirage (Hands Productions/Spain)
Mono No Aware (Hands Productions/Germany)
+ another band tba.

ah fuck yeah :) this means that we don't have to drive down to l.a. to see proyecto mirage and mono no aware :) * i was afraid that we would miss it, since it was between hypnoskull and that show*...now, if only we could go to maschinenfest.

it's been awhile since the last update...so yeah...where to begin.

i am officially 24. i don't know whether i should be amazed that i have made it this long ;) (only in respect to being young and thinking that i would never make it past 21.) i am trying not to get into the "i should have a degree by this time" thinking. maybe it's just more of an incentive to go back...it is just getting a little more intimidating as the time goes by. i am just happy that my mom didn't forget to call me this year like she did last year ;). plus, xima and eric rescued us from the sims for my birthday. we went to the club and i got drunk :). after the club we headed to denny's with ben, kat, and her friend laura. it was good that we finally got out of the house. we still haven't given the kitty kennel back...eep, i just remembered.

yesterday, i woke up really fucking late. i have been staying up until 6-7 a.m. each night (since i have been off of work) and getting up around 2-3 p.m. i am feeling mucho lazy lately. erik says that is an understatement. i agree, since i am getting too much sleep lately. my doctor said that i am probably waking up from my shoulder during the night and not realizing this. i am beginning to think that is true, just because i normally don't sleep that much. i miss the days that i used to get 5-6 hours of sleep...i am getting too old for that lately.

so, erik introduced me to the sims, which i have been playing for the past 3 days. i am trying not to play it today, since it is consuming me. that and all those pro anorexia communities on lj. i have been reading them for the past week. i don't know why i am so interested in reading them. i feel sorry for the girls that are posting in there. some of them really need some help. i just don't understand how you can purposely live off of 100 calories a day and have some sort of quality of life. there are so many other things that need to be done around the house. i still need to unpack the one box that is left in the bedroom. other than that box, we are pretty much unpacked, except for the cds. we can't unpack those until we get a good cd rack that can hold them, which we are going to have to save for. the one i want runs at $579 and gives us some more room to grow into, which i am sure we will do.

the kittens have been evil lately. erik put them in the bedroom with me on friday while he was fixing the surround sound. neko looked at me and decided that he would pee on a blanket that was on the floor. they really don't like to be put in the room anymore, which i can understand. they have learned to use their voices and have been meowing loudly. it's cute, though. so, they have now controlled us into letting them roam free no matter if we are unpacking or what not.

off to go read or something else...erik is reinstalling again...bah!

technically 2 days until my birthday!!!!

today started uber early with the dumb ass cable guy. we had to be up at 8 a.m. since they gave us a timeframe of 8 a.m.- noon. he was surprised that there was a box of cat 5 cable lying around in the house. it was a bit funny. erik had to sit next to him and show him how to use my machine. yup...quite funny. but, happy that we finally got highspeed again. it's sad that the week and a half without it seemed like forever. sick ass geeks.

i went to my doctor today and received a cortisone shot. so far, i feel fucking stiff and more sore. but, he gave me the rest of the week off of work. if this doesn't work, i get an emg. if it works, then i have to get a shot each 4-6 weeks. i am hoping that i am in the get a shot every 4-6 weeks group. he also wrote a prescription for me to get a stim unit at home. w00t :)

must rest the hand now.